Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Today was a good day for many reasons!

First of all my day started with the announcement of DOMA and Prop 8. What amazing news! Still have to work on PA legalizing gay marriage but hey DOMA was the HUGE challenge facing my family! And since C and I were legally married in NYC we are now eligible for the same rights as any straight couple would be offered. Words can't explain the relief I feel. Because although I did not post about this, C ran into issues at work two weeks ago about covering our baby once she is born. She initially went to find out how she could take leave when the baby was born..... which they basically said she can't. What a joke. Then it was brought up about how we conceived and how the baby would be covered under C's insurance if she wasn't on the birth certificate within 30 days. The quickest we can push the adoption through would be at least 6 months. And even though this baby is genetically C's child her work only recognizes legal documents as proof. So, after we were so happy with our mid-wife we were told that we would be better off delivering in NJ. Because NJ will put C on the birth certificate right away. We decided against that. Because regardless we would still need to do the adoption to protect us in PA. But making a long story short DOMA changes everything for us.... FOR THE BETTER.

I also went to go see the high risk group today. They performed a level 1 growth scan. They measured every nook and cranny lol. It was amazing to see our little girl move all over the place. She was measuring exactly on time at 16 weeks 5 days. She is 6oz! Crazy how something so small has such definition! They measured her Nuchal  fold and said it looks perfect. They also said she has a nasal bone which trisomy 21 babies typically don't have. So that was a relief! They also said that what the quad screen test did not calculate correctly was the fact that I technically used an "egg donor" which changes a lot. It is the egg's age that plays a big role in this test. So, the plan is to re-run the test with the updated and accurate information and go from there. But for now the US tech she looks normal. AND SHE IS STILL A GIRL. So Saturday's US will just be for fun! Here are some pictures (and some are super creepy!):

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

The call that has made my nerves 10x worse :(

So, I got my Quad Screen done last Thursday. And to be honest at first I had no worries, but all of the sudden yesterday I kept getting this gut feeling that something may come back abnormal. The woman from the Hospital lab called to get more information on how my due date was calculated (I explained that I did IVF and it went by egg retrieval and embryo transfer). But something about that call put a red flag up in my brain. And since has been occupying a lot of space.

Today I woke up pretty late in the morning around 10:00am and immediately texted my wife to see if the results were in the computer at her work. She works in an ER so of course probably has not had a chance to do this yet. But I didn't need to wait for her to look at the results. My mid-wife called me and asked if I have seen the results yet, and I told her I hadn't. She then continued to say that my Quad Screen came up abnormal and that I am at high risk for having a baby with Down's Syndrome. My exact risk is 1 in 45. Which means 1 in every 45 women who get this result have a baby with Down's Syndrome. I know that this is not always accurate but that is not good enough to make my worries go away.

It took everything in me not to break down and cry on the phone with her. But as soon as I hung up the tears immediately streamed down my face. And as I write this I am still crying. I am very scared to say the least. And I can't say scared of the unknown because I think I am scared since I actually know too much (about the possibilities that is). I go to see the Perinatologist (the high risk doctor) tomorrow, which was initially just since I had a cardiac history but now my mid-wife told me to mention this result to them. She also said they should offer me more genetic testing as well. I can't lie and say I am not bitter because I begged for the Maternit21 test so badly in the beginning to calm my nerves and was denied because I did not qualify. I AM BITTER ABOUT THAT. My mind is racing, there are a million things running through my brain. I wish I could cuddle up to my wife so I could feel better. I haven't even had a chance to talk to her yet since she is working. So I needed to vent and this is the best place to do it.

The plan as of now is to have all day to be scared and upset and maybe even angry. But after today I will promise myself to stay strong no matter what the result is. This baby is still a blessing and God will only give my wife and I what we can handle. And Down's Syndrome is not the worst diagnosis. Many babies do well and most people with Down's can live a full and happy life. So, until tomorrow I just need to hang in there and try with all my might to stay positive.

And on that note, my baby girl is moving around like crazy. I love feeling her kicks. And it still boggles my mind that there is a little baby inside of me. My wife and I were listening to her on the doppler last night, it's so amazing. My wife talks to my belly all the time, she is too cute :).

I will post an update tomorrow evening after my appointment. Fingers crossed for good news!

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Gender Reveal/Mom's Surprise Party

Pictures truly are worth 1,000 words:

My mom was actually surprised!

Cake and cupcakes I made :)!

Mom cutting the cake.

It's PINK!

It's a baby girl!

My sister, future Auntie :)!

(L to R) My older brother, my younger brother, my step dad, my sister, me, and my mom

The siblings :)

Family again!

Me and my younger brother lol

Over all it was a huge success, besides the clogged toilet/back up of sewage in our basement! And our baby girl is growing, can't believe I am 16 weeks tomorrow! Growth scan this coming Wednesday and follow up Gender Reveal US next saturday! So excited, can't wait to see her again!

Sunday, June 9, 2013

IT'S A ...........?

So C and I went to the "Angle of the Dangle" US in Egg Harbor, NJ yesterday. I was going to wait a week to blog about it, but I caved and told my sister. I know she will not blab to the rest of my family so I am not worried.

First of all I just have to say the whole experience what simply amazing! SO WORTH EVERY PENNY! It was amazing to see how much the baby has grown in 4 weeks! To see the purposeful movements, kicks and waves.... just sooo awesome. The baby was hiding behind the placenta at first so the tech had me sit up to make the baby uncomfortable and hopefully move over lol. Well, that didn't work but the baby did at least lay more on it's spine to make the gender determination a little easier. SO ARE YOU READY FOR IT?!

I swore up and down that it was a little boy.... but I was wrong! We are having a baby GIRL!!! I could not be more happy. C and I feel so so blessed. Today is C's mother's birthday (whom passed away) I feel like she has a lot to do with where we are today. I kept saying to the US tech..... wait are you sure?! She said she was 98% sure and that if this baby comes up with a penis in the next three weeks she will fall to the ground in shock lol. So I am still in shock but definitely more accepting that this baby is in fact a girl. I guess it didn't help that I did that stupid pee test from Walgreens which said it was a BOY. Stupid.... and $40!! Anyway here are some cute pictures of our little girl:

Also, we had our midwife appointment this past week, and we LOVE her! I am so relieved and happy! Everything went well with the appointment. She does want me to see a high risk perinatologist since I have a preexisting cardiac condition (paroxysmal atrial fibrillation). I haven't had any major flare ups since November 2012 but I am okay to do this just as a precaution. Plus it means I will get to see my baby more frequently on US. My first appointment with the Perinatologist is June 26th. And then we have another US appointment with Bellyssimo June 29th. 

Our plan is still to surprise my mom with the gender reveal. I am going to make the inside of her birthday cake PINK and can't wait to see her reaction!

Here are some other photos from this weekend.... I thinkI have officially popped!

 The last two photos are from today. We went to Philly Pride :) and had a blast in the heat lol.

How far along? 14 weeks 2 days
How big is baby? Orange
Total weight gain/loss: Down one pound from my pre-preggo weight... weird lol
Maternity Clothes: I am already wearing them... but have room to grow lol
Have you started to show yet? Yes
Sleep: Pretty good, the peeing still has not subsided
Best moment this week: Seeing our baby GIRL!
Miss Anything? Nope
Movement: I am pretty sure I feel her every now and then :)
Food Cravings: Nothing in particular
Anything make you queasy or sick? Just when I don't eat for a while
Gender prediction:  We now know it is a GIRL
Symptoms: Nope
Major purchases this week? Girl clothes :)
Looking forward to: Mom's surprise party/gender reveal