So... It's Sunday evening (or so I think lol night shift messes with me). Only two more day until our appointment. I am super excited for that but I'm also newly nervous!!!
I think last night at work is what is making me incredibly nervous to start a family. Since I work in the NICU I see some pretty sick newborns/infants which I can handle. What I can't handle is seeing just how much can go wrong in the womb/during conception. Last night I saw a baby that was unbelievably misshapen and sick but even worse that baby was totally mentally aware. The baby's fate is imminent... Death. But it's not just that simple (as if death ever is). Death takes time. It involves no treatment to fix the things that are so wrong and not feeding or hydrating the baby. It seems so cruel to do this. We are suppose to save these babies not help kill them. It's hard because we know that the abnormalities are incompatible with life in the future but in the now the baby is very much alive. I can't even imagine what I would do if this was my baby.
I understand this is very rare but seeing this has opened my eyes to how blessed people are to have a normal pregnancy and healthy children. That is what I am going to hope and pray for!