My wife and I had our appointment with the Psychologist on Friday. Dr. Braverman has officially cleared us for our IVF journey! Yay! So I guess it's good to know that we aren't CRAZY, lol. My sister brought up a good point (she has a somewhat cynical sense of humor), "I love that you have to get a psych consult but crack heads can have a litter of children. Oh well. Have a blast! Can't wait til you have a little nugget." I love her <3
Anyway.... It was actually a very nice meeting we discussed many hypothetical situations to try and prepare us for what could possibly come in our future. Including the topic of a multiple pregnancy, and selective reduction. C and I of course have not discussed every possible scenario because there is just no knowing what will happen. What we have agreed on is that we will transfer two embryos on our first try and go from there. We have discussed our limits when it comes to how many babies we can handle both physically and financially. As far as the "odds" go they are in our favor... it's pretty rare to put two embryos in and have it result in more than a twin pregnancy. But we shall see.
We also discussed same-sex parenthood. Which was a surprise to me. There will always be that fear that our future children will be bullied because they have two mothers. But aren't kids always bullied for one thing or another?? Growing up in Philadelphia I (B) always embraced peoples differences and being "gay" was almost normal in that city lol. They have a "gayborhood" and many organizations for LGBT families. But now that I live in a Philly suburb I feel a little more reserved and vulnerable. I think the most recent election really opened my eyes to my "neighborhood." While walking our dog we saw "Romney" signs on every lawn around us. And while there are many reasons why people vote other than for "Gay Rights" I just could not help but wonder how our neighbors really feel about a lesbian couple living in their territory. For the most part I can't say that we have had any problems living here... everyone is very friendly but I think until we have children they may not think we are anything but roommates. I am probably just over thinking all of this but it almost feels like a new stage of "coming out." I have been comfortable and openly lesbian for almost six years but talking about starting a family brings on thoughts of coming out as a lesbian family which is an unknown for my wife and I. We will just have to roll with the punches as we go on this journey to motherhood. One thing that has helped is the fact that everyone around us as far as family and friends have been nothing but supportive and excited :)!
Our RE who is ironically taking care of me during my egg donation has suggested to wait until the end of January for C and I to both come in and start our IVF. That way egg donation will be finished and the focus will not be on just me or just C and we could do everything together. Which initially I was bummed about because I know C could have gotten a jump start on things but it's probably the right thing to do so that our focus can be solely on OUR journey. Besides it's only a few more weeks to wait which is nothing in the grand scheme of things. So tentatively our first appointment will be between January 28th - 31st 2013.
Here is a short list of books that Dr. Braverman recommended for same sex families, some are specific to Lesbian Mothers, Gay Fathers and some are just about diverse families:
- Before You Were Born.... Our Wish for a Baby by J. Grimes
- My Story by Infertility Research Trust
-The Family Book by Todd Parr
- Waiting for You by Kelly C. Mizer
-And Tango Makes Three by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell (THIS IS ADORABLE)
Here is a cute photo of our four legged sons, hogging our footroom in our bed last night: